Ultimate Showdown
by literarycellofreak
Summary: Fast forward. The product the world has been waiting for has arrived. A bloody fight to the death will ensue.
1. Chapter 1

SS Superman v. Spiderman v. Batman: Who wins?

January 9, 2155. The product that the world's been waiting for: Ice 9. One bottle, many competitors. The report on PBS at 7:00 this evening.

7:00

Good evening, Oceania citizens. There have been reports that Apple has released the coveted bottle of Ice 9-Beta [show]. As many of you know, this product [zoom] has the capability of freezing any substance it reaches in record time [ice pictures]. It's been tested on everything from water to liquid gold, and works universally. Apple has been hinting at its release ever since July, and President John Bush is just waiting to get his hands on it.

However, an anonymous government official [show, blur face] has informed us that Eurasia and Panfrica have also staked claims on this precious substance. An official report from Eurasia has stated that this product is not on their list, but considering the secrecy of the EIA, our government does not know whether or not they plan to use the Ice 9-Beta as a chemical weapon.

If they decide to use said weapon, the consequences could be disastrous. Let's interview the latest expert on Ice 9-Beta, the infamous Steve Jobs, who recently had his long-awaited 200th birthday. Steve, welcome to the studio! What do you have to say about the availability of Ice 9-Beta?

"Well thank you, Joan. In a confidential meeting with leaders from Oceania, Panfrica, and Eurasia, we have determined an executive plan to keep this product from becoming the source of WWIV. Each world power will have a representative. Democratic input has led us to believe that the most popular candidates for representatives are as follows: Superman for Oceania,  
Batman for Panafrica, and Spiderman for Eurasia.

The plan is this. Because this is such a powerful substance, there is indubitably going to be war. Our decision as knowlegable world leaders is to have each country's representatives to fight to the death over this bottle. We believe that this will avert the chance of war and indulge citizens' natures in one blow."

"Thank you, Steve. It was a pleasure to talk to you."

"Thank you, Joan."

"And it's back to John for the weather..."

-End-


	2. Chapter 2

Interlude....

Appleton sorted the mail slowly, methodically, painstakingly. It was his job, and he was careful. Careful and precise. The clock beat time as he rhythmically piled: company one, company two, company three. Company one, company two, company three. Company one, company two....his eyes rolled, almost imperceptibly, and he slumped forward a little. A tiny shudder shook his body, like the last breath of a fragile insect. Next to him, someone grinned a Cheshire cat grin, wide and harsh, spread icily across his face. A fluttering shadow of a cape.  
"Toto, you aren't in Kansas anymore," Batman addressed the corpse. He left a minute ink mark on the pine desk, like a dog spraying his territory. He winked playfully, spitefully, and took a bounding leap out the window, shattering it as he went. His Batmobile waited below him, converting into a small trampoline. He sped out of the parking garage, a screech of wheels and a lonely bat the only things left behind.  
One for Panfrica.

---

Superman grinned, oozing machismo. "I am _honoured_ to receive this _award_. Of course, I _deserve_ it, and it's taken _far_ too long for me to receive it, but _that's_ okay. _I _understand, of _course_. Now, hand over the shiny to me, _would_ you? I'm a _very_ busy man, _very_ busy. Of _course _ you understand, as I _am _your representative in the _duel_."  
A cheer explodes from the crowd. Superman begrudged them a smile, and admired his own finely chiseled jaw. Lucky dogs, getting to hear him speak. It was a good day's work...as it always was. He swept off the stage, peaking around the curtain to wink at the audience and relishing the deafening applause. He smirked smugly. Spiderman and Batman couldn't pull this off.  
He sauntered out of the building, swinging his briefcase. They had no idea what was in store for them.

---

Spiderman sighed, and grabbed a last handful of Lay's from the jumbo bag. Another day a waste. He stared at his computer, and the idling World of Goo. Why him? Why in the name of God were they picking him? A twenty-something slacker, living at home with his post-stroke aunt. Why couldn't they pick the Flash?  
An idle tear fell out of his bloodshot eye and half-heartedly trickled down his cheek. So what if he saved the litter's runt from the neighborhood bulldog? So what if he saved the elderly man down the street from drowning in the toilet? He was just a local firefighter to the extreme.  
"I am nothing," he thought. "Why am I here? Is there any point to this dying world?" His head hit the desk and he droned off into sleep, the darts of his thoughts piercing his heart to oblivion.


	3. Chapter 3

Ultimate Showdown Chapter Three

The activity in the office was physically overwhelming, like a hive's reaction to a carefully thrown rock. The tension was building and overflowing. Nervous reporters scurried back and forth, certain that their big break was on its way. Leonard sat back and watched the masters at their best.

He was new to the office. He would stand in the corner next to the coffee machine, his stirrer going round and round in nervous circles. The Sweet-and-Low made his mouth taste bitter, a certain hint of darker times.

He leaned on the blank wall and heard the ribbons of conversation wind around him.

"So how was your weekend, Nancy?"

"Did you hear about the attacks on...."

"Ugh, Folger's is rotten!"

"Oh, the kids did fingerpaint and ended up painting the cat. She's still green..."

"I agree. That's why I have..."

"Billy Mays once..."

Leonard basked in the energy of the people. He was a reporter in training, but he had the mind of a writer. Nancy's kids and the green cat and Billy Mays and Folger's....the ingredients formed a story unlike any other in his mind...

The image in his mind shattered into pieces as a foot came flying in from the window. Leonard felt nothing, saw nothing but the giant, socked foot. His last thought was, "I never knew that Batman wore stockings."

Then he was out.


End file.
